Looking back on their entry to parenthood, so many parents lament that they spent so much time preparing for the birth, they forgot to think about what came next. Childbirth may loom large in your mind, but it’s nothing compared to the change and upheaval you’ll experience as a new parent.
No matter how much you try to plan, it’s impossible to predict how your first days and weeks will be, because there are so many factors that will simply be out of your control. Maybe you will have a easy birth and will be coasting on a hormonal high for weeks. Maybe you will be recovering from complications, or dealing with baby blues or postpartum depression. More than anything else, your experience will depend on your baby’s personality and needs (which, whatever you may read in some baby books, is most definitely NOT under your control or influence in the first days and weeks). There are some babies that are truly easy from the start – good sleepers, good feeders, giving their parents time to rest and minimal cause for worry. Other babies don’t sleep at all, or are colicky and cry constantly, which is enough to unravel even the most zen-like of earth mothers. Most babies are somewhere in between, and that’s more than challenging enough for any new parent.
So what can you do to prepare yourself?
- Think about what your parenting style might be and talk it out with your partner, along with divisions of labor. Be prepared to be flexible and change your mind once the baby comes along, of course, but it helps to have already done some thinking and talking.
- If you’re thinking of breastfeeding, there are some useful things to know beforehand to help you and your baby get a good start.
- If you’re a working mother, know your maternity leave options. If there’s another mother at your workplace, talk to her about her experience – so many mothers keep quiet about the challenges of balancing work and a new baby, because they want to maintain a professional image. But they may open up to you as a fellow mother, and it’s very useful to know how other mothers in your organization have dealt with balancing work schedules, time with babies, sleep deprivation, pumping milk and other practical issues you may not have considered.
- Have support resources lined up – if you’re lucky, you may not need them, but most parents find that they lean on friends and family more than they expected in this period.
- Research medical decisions that you’ll have to make in the early days
- Get all of your documentation ready, so that you minimize the running around you’ll have to do later to get the correct forms stamped, signed and processed by the right people.
- Stock up on the baby stuff that you want. Especially if you want imported items from your home country, it’s best to have visitors bring them over, as many items are not available or are very expensive here